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Okay - you've already read little bits and pieces about me on some of the pages. But I guess this page will give you a better summary about me and my friends. Please have patience with me on this page, I have to confer with people to get ideas for it. I wouldn't want to get in trouble for posting something that someone didn't want revealed!!! *L*
NOTE: This page is strictly copyrighted. No text on this page may be reproduced, or posted on another page. The Lady With the Green Milk Bottles, is a ficticious story (or so we have to say anyway ...) and is the original creation of myself, Bree, Sam and Cathe. And so are any other stories that will be featured on this page. However, given full credit, permission is granted for the presence of a link to this page on any site. Please forward via email, requests of any nature to: Helen_Wakefield@bigfoot.com
Explore the following sections ...
My Friends || Stupid Things Said and Done! ||
Embarrassing moments ...
|| The Lady With The Green Milk
Bottles || Because I Went Out
With Kate ||
Currently in Year 12, Bree, Bec, Sam and I are battling our way through our HSC, in an uneventful town. Let me introduce my best friends to you ...
Bree ... Our school captain!! This girl oozes with style and confidence, and a dazzling smile that knocks guys dead!! So, how was that Bree? *L* Yes, she may be my best friend ... but there wasn't an ounce of exaggeration in that - this girl is certainly one in a million!
Bec ... Our talented (but closet!!) musician, with an adorable laugh that's so contagious it's scary!!! Bec makes our maths lessons fun ... once the two of us start laughing, there's no stopping us! I'm afraid that one day, some guy is going to sweep her off her feet, take her overseas and away from us *S*.
Sam ... Watch out for this babe! Sam's our stunning swimmer, and the sweetest person you've ever come across. She's also on the Student Rep. Council, and if anyone messes with Sam's heart ... they'll have all of us to deal with! *L*
Well I'm the dull one ... so you don't need anything about me!! *L*
I'd post pictures of the gals on here ... but somehow I think they'd kill me. I'd hear the usual ... "I look terrible!!" ... which of course, isn't true ... but I have to keep them satisfied, don't I? *L*
Also to -
Cathe ... I don't know whether you'll ever see this ... but just know we hope you're doing well at school, which I'm sure you are *S*. You coming to Sydney for Uni?? If so - I'll see you there!!!
Michaela ... I hope that you will see this page in your travels. Know that my thoughts and prayers are always with you, especially at this time. Hold onto that inner strength you posses. God Bless.
Andrew, Matt E and Matt K ... I think these guys are having too much fun at Uni ... are you all still alive?? *L*
Now, everyone says and does stupid things, right? Well, although we are exceptional (yes, that's right, have a good laugh!), we are not exempt from this human flaw.
I'm not allowed to say who did or said the
following. If I did, I'd probably never see another day to add
more to this page. So girls, I'll keep the names out of it - (it's
so hard to keep these girls happy!) *L*. By the way,
not all these things were said by one of us four.
WARNING:Okay
okay, some of these things might seem rather ... well, pathetic
and simply just not funny. It might be a case of you'd
have to be one of us or you had to be there .
Anyway, I hope at least one will tickle your fancy. *S*
"There's
a stream running through her house ..."
"Now
let's settle down, be quiet and do our hair..."
"We
were driving the street up the car ..."
"Oh
look! Evalove - that's a cool brand" (It was actually
EVOLVE)
"I
know, she's got no class. Do you like my earring?" - then
shows an apple sticker on her ear.
"Tip
top wanna make you jump! jump!"
Person
1: "Why do I have your test?"
Person 2: "Oh, it's probably mine."
"Is
[friend] still going out with Michael Chang?"
"Show
her your other face."
"She
has no class. I have class - ooh, I have vegemite on my
shoulder."
Person
1: {pointing at photograph} "Oh look! There's Steve! Oh
wow."
....Person 2: {examining photo critically}"Yeah. But he
doesn't take very good photos".
....(My point? Steve was a fox or something at a
wildlife park!)
"No, I can't tell you. It's sad ... and I'll laugh!"
Person 1: "My dog won't have sex anymore after having
puppies."
....Person 2: "Have you tried?"
....Person 1: "Yes."
Once again ... I can't say WHOSE embarrassing moments these are ... *L* actually, I must confess, these are also some other people's embarrassing moments. Since I'm not mentioning any names, I hope at least that my chances of survival are somewhat greater than if I HAD put names ...
Walked outside - saw their car was gone. Called police, "My
car's been stolen!" 10 minutes later, calls back the
station, "Don't worry. I've found my car." Where?
Forgot to put the handbrake on and it rolled down the hill into
someone's yard.
Walking along, innocently talking away. Next thing - falling,
completely toppling over a TREE!! Great big holes in stockings
...
Person 1: "Let's go back and see that guy about another
place to go on exchange to."
. . .Person 2: "Oh what, to his house?"
.... the guy in question walks past ....
Pulling out of a parking spot, the spare tyre falls out from
under the car. Tyre rolls into the gutter, store owner comes out,
frantically trying to wave down the car as it drives away ...
with the metal carriage hanging under the car, scraping along the
road all the way down the main street ....
Dancing away in bedroom, getting changed. Almost completely
undressed when sees a car parked outside her window. Doing a
comando roll, dives over the bed and onto the floor! The guy of
her dreams starts the car, and drives away ...
There's a sadistic lady out there, ensuring that there are many of those hideous green milk bottles in each bag of glucose lollies. Why?? It's a long, sordid and complicated tale...
There was once a lady working in the glucose lollie factory. She was a minor supervisor - you know the deal supervising over those sorting the lollies and putting them into those little plastic bags. It wasn't the greatest of jobs, but knowing that the lollies brought satisfaction to lots of greedy-sugar-hungry kids, made it almost satisfying. Almost.
Thinking that it was about time she moved up in the world, the lady approached her boss for a promotion. He laughed at her request. Filled with anger brewing inside, the lady narrowed her eyes and coolly looked him right in the eye. "You will change your mind ..."
Now this lady wasn't an old lady by any means. Still rather young, she could have quite attractive qualities at times. Over the next few weeks, she kept to her task, never complaining. Her eyes would wander up to the office where her boss would occasionally look out from. A tiny flirtatious wave she'd give him every so often. Tentative at first, he always waved back. It later was accompanied with a smile, and later still - a wink.
Feeling she had laid the grounds sufficiently, the lady made her move. Approaching her boss in the office, she seduced him and he responded. "I will get this promotion..." kept running through her mind. Unknowing to her waking conscious, she had also fallen for her boss.
So when she again asked for a promotion and was just as abruptly turned down - sparks flew from her piercing stare. "How dare he!" After yelling away at her boss for a few minutes ... she got demoted. "Back to the conveyor belts and sorting!" He ordered her out of the room.
To put it bluntly, the lady went insane. A disturbing constant roaming of her eyes became a fixture of her face. She would often be heard laughing devilishly suddenly, and seemingly without reason. Oh, she had reason alright ...
Her plan was to put the company out of business. That would teach them to mess around with her! She ensured that ridiculous amounts of those hideous green milk bottles would be in every bag of lollies. Knowing that they were hated meant that people would buy less and less of the lollies.
After a few week, sales had declined, but not nearly severely enough. Her next plan of action was to poison the green milk bottles. Of course, people started dying, and a full scale investigation into the company was launched. Needless to say - she was caught. A plea of insanity was issued - obviously - and was convicted immediately and sent to a mental assylum.
And there she stayed - for a while anyway. Notice that there isn't any more of those bags of lollies?? The company is out of business now. Her boss disappeared one day, and was never found ...
You know, I went out with Kate, or rather ...
HE (remaining nameless) went out with Kate. Apparently, this is a
fact that seems to escape most people - no matter how often it's
mentioned ... which is a LOT! See, "I went out with Kate,
because you know, I went out with Kate ... then there was a time
I went out with Kate..."
Sooo ... did YOU know he went out with Kate?? Check it ALL out
here ... thanks to the lovely Bec ...
When
I Went Out With Kate
soon to include ... when I get
my toned body and freak out and run out of thinking
PAGE EDITED Friday November 20, 1998
© 1998 Helen Wakefield
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